Powerofwordsandwisdom's Blog

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Alas, the end of this book has come to a close.  Trying to rewrite my life this past year has been quite a story.  The word “free” has new meaning.  Happiness has a new sound and peace has a new feel.  In my previous existence was a torn and shattered soul.  A broken glass.  An empty heart.  Gone was the understanding that such a storm could leave in its wake total destruction.  Gone was the light of a new day or that I would even see past it.  I’m currently in self repair of my spirit, my heart and my broken wings.  Now comes the calm after the storm.  Gravity no longer working against me.  Forgiveness of another’s trespass through my inner being.  I am now free to rewrite my history and make room for a more satisfying future.

This painful journey has prevented me from trusting people, strangers, friends and even family.  I’m finding it hard to forget those who have hurt me.  It’s difficult for me to break the ties from people who have disappointed me.  It seems I can’t get past the pain their own actions have caused me.  To feel disrespected, disregarded, even lied to, all causes the betrayal I feel.  Am I a sucker for punishment?  Maybe I truly ignore the person they really are.  Playing the blame game back and forth with myself, finally coming to the conclusion that I may be at fault for my own broken self.  No I won’t go down for the that.  I’ll live and learn.  Move on and push forward.  I’ll improve myself through experience and change my heart for the better, not the popular. 

I will learn to accept this change and take advantage of the time I have to collect myself and get it together.  I’m under construction.  Not just my heart, but my inner self.  My soul.  My esteem.  My life.  I don’t need nor will I accept the hard edges from anyone else.  I am my own priority.  I was not made to feel like an important factor in your life, so I will take back myself.  I will recognize my self-worth.  I won’t allow myself to get lost in anyone’s unrealistic expectations.  I will trust myself before I trust another.  I will love myself completely before I love someone else with my arms wide open. 

I’m under construction.  I don’t know how long the out-of-order sign will be up over  my heart, but it’ll remain until the project of building myself up is complete.  However long this process takes, this I know for sure, I’ll be standing on my own without a doubt.  Twice as good. Twice as tall. Twice as strong.